I've actually done a whole bunch of reading over the past couple weeks--some before Zoe was born, a little bit more in the past several days. I just finished Gary Thomas' Sacred Marriage--I knew with baby #2 on the way, I'd need some marriage tutoring--and it is phenomenal. I'd recommend it to anyone who's been married more than a couple days.
This is the second book by Thomas that I've read--his previous one was called Sacred Pathways where he talks about different ways people meet the Lord: nature, activism, contemplation, study, etc. If you're someone who struggles with spiritual disciplines at all, Thomas has a great web site (www.garythomas.com) where you can take a short test that will help you find your 'sacred pathway'--no more "one size fits all" spiritual disciplines prescription. It's really excellent, take a look.
The subtitle to Thomas' book on marriage is: "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" I agree with this premise, and I would take it a step further. I think that you could put just about any life situation in place of "marriage:" what if God designed singleness, your job, being a student, your family situation, every aspect of your life to make you holy more than to make you happy?" I think it re-orients us around a more faithful center to think of it that way.
But I do have one small objection. What if holiness is our only way to happiness? What if there is simply no other way to be happy other than to be holy? What if holiness and happiness are not actually set against each other (as Thomas does here and as we so often do in our own thinking) but they're actually intrinsically linked? John Piper, a pastor in Minnesota and one of my favorite authors, calls himself a "Christian Hedonist" based on this contention. All of us seek our own happiness. The sin is not found in looking for happiness but rather in looking for it in all the wrong places.
My contention: the world can't even deliver on the thin version of happiness that it offers. Worldliness only equals misery--you don't even have to believe in God to see that, just listen to your radio, or watch a little t.v. Godliness and holiness, these equal happiness. C.S. Lewis: "Joy is the serious busines of heaven."
What if God designed every aspect of our lives to make us holy, which is the only way to make us happy?
9 comments:
I'll happily go with Mr. Thomas' subtitle so long as he means "holines" in a more broad and robust way than simply as a synonym for "piety."
Not that piety is a bad thing! Piety is great. But I think that there's a whole lot more to holiness than piety. Hallellujah!
I thought I was a good Alex Kirk stalker, but every time I check the postings (which is often), I find that Macon has already posted a reply. Macon, I am somewhat awed and scared by this fact. I am so dumbfounded, in fact, that I don't even remember what I was going to say in response to this holiness/happiness discussion.
macon, you are a quality, experienced blogger! I meant to reply to an earlier comment, but I was having trouble yesterday getting onto my own blog...hmmm, something fishy about that.
to answer an earlier question about Zoe's name--we are using the English Standard Version. As a redneck once said at a school board meeting: if English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for my kids.
secondly, could you sketch out the difference between holiness and piety for the less-informed?
Katie, just be free to be you, don't worry about comparing yourself to Macon, he's a tough act to follow...
Katie: the secret to my success is that I'm currently on vacation! wooo hoooo! Frankly, I think that's the secret to success period: be on vacation.
Or maybe that's just what success is? being on vacation?
If so, my success will come to an end in a few days.
AK: I think I'll make a post re holiness & piety over at Kith&Kin. I'll comment again with a link when it's finished.
A discussion of what it means to be "happy" would help us. Is there a difference between being "happy" and being "joyful"? The old Shorter Catechism says that man's chief end is "to glofify God, and to enjoy him forever." Another thought: I think marriage has some very specific ends, mainly to grow families. Dropping the issue of holiness and happiness into it, as if it were the main thing, is more "me-focused" than I am comfortable with. Here's my number one book recommendation on marriage: Willard F. Harley, Jr.'s, His Needs Her Needs. Great blog, by the way!
welcome to the blog, paul, thanks for jumping in!
I appreciated Macon's post about short term v. long-term happiness. I think in response to your comment about family, the problem with that is that not everyone ends up having family--plenty of folks don't have kids because they can't or genuinely feel God doesn't want them to. Growing families is too small a thing to be the main thing. The work of making us holy is a 'larger umbrella' that encapsulates the family aspects that you discuss as well as those who don't have families.
Thanks for the welcome, Alex. Good rebuttal points too. I like the theology, but I like the rubber-hitting-the road issues as well. How does it mean to be a holy husband? And what does it mean? Specifically. This minute.
Great q'ns, Paul (or should I call you Mr. Stokes? I realized after I posted my previous comment that you're probably Macon's dad!). I think that this is Thomas' point in his book. That the point of being a husband or father is that we are being conformed more and more into the image of the true image of God--Christ. I've learned tons about the heart of my Father as I ask the Lord to teach me about what true Fathering looks like. I'm still learning all the time about what it means to lay my life down for my wife--to die thousands of tiny little deaths every day--and so enter into the death of Christ. I think it means a heart-posture of prayer and teachability and a willingness to be in step with the Spirit, to take the plunge into the chaos of poopy diapers, hard conversations, waking up with a toddler at 5:47 in the morning.
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