I'm with the kids today--living the crazy life for one day this week that my wife experiences most of the time. Museum this morning, rest time for the big kids, nap time for the little one, afternoon of playing, dinner, baths, bed.
In all of this, there's basically one hour (happening right now) where I get to decide what I want to do. Rest time for the big kids affords me sixty minutes of un-interrupted do whatever I want to time.
As this hour approached, I was calculating how much I could get done and all that needed to happen: a weekend and Monday morning's worth of e-mails un-answered, a bunch of other things that clamor for my attention.
In the midst of my rush of thoughts, my Bible and journal were on the table and the question arose: do I want to be productive or do I want to be holy?
Most days like today, the question doesn't even come up. Most days like today I just dive into my one hour of work like a frantic screaming banchee. So much to do! So little time to do it!
But the healthiest, most on-going result of my sabbatical this past school year was a fresh commitment to spending time with Jesus on a daily basis. Before anything else gets done, I spend time in Scripture and prayer.
Just now, that meant fifteen of my sixty went to journaling, reading the first part of Galatians 6, and praying for my family, the campus, and all the "stuff" that I typically do on a Monday office day, offering it to him.
The question of holiness v. productivity helped me to think more clearly about my priorities. I deeply believe that six months, a year, five years, ten years spent continually choosing wisdom, holiness, Jesus, and life over and above the tyranny of the urgent, the demands of stuff to do will make a difference in the quality of person that I'm becoming.
If I had spent those fifteen minutes answering e-mails, would I have even remembered that a week from now? How much of my best time and energies goes towards stuff that I don't even remember or really matter in the long run?
Of course, it's not always an either/or. But sometimes there is a clear decision to be made, a cost to choosing life.
Gotta' go, just thirty minutes left before the kids are released and I'm back on duty.
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