This weekend was the half-way point of my sabbatical. Break out the orange slices and the Gatorade.
It's been a great two months mostly focused on the un-hooking process. These next two months will be much more about engaging with the issues of my own soul and then reflecting on my 12 and a half years of ministry.
But today I'm freshly grateful for an organization that has given me this gift and for the supporters who are continuing to make it possible.
I'm looking forward to what the next two months hold.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Which Orphans and Widows?
Yesterday our church small group Bible study re-gathered for the first time this calendar year after a long hiatus over Christmas. We're studying James, and we finished off James 1 yesterday.
At the end of James 1, we get this charge: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress
Later that evening, I was talking this over with Sam, a friend of mine who's in the small group. One of my struggles with that passage is that when it was written, the orphans and widows that you knew about were in your immediate vicinity. Really, up until about 100 years ago or so, the average person was aware of the pain in his or her town or maybe region and not much beyond that.
Today, of course, we are uber-connected to all the pain in the world. If you were so inclined as to decide to refuse to be happy as long as you knew that others suffered, you would fairly easily live a monstrously joyless life.
My friend Sam pointed out that the social dynamics of the church that James is writing to are different as well. It would seem that the orphans and widows were knocking down the door of the church.
James is telling them to care for the people coming to them, to not turn those people away, as much as he is to go out and meet the needs of the neighbors. Today, at least here in the U.S, our social net is much better constructed...and our churches are fairly segregated socio-economically.
I think that all of this leads me to a couple of convictions:
1. I am charged to "not merely listen to the word and so deceive myself. Do what it says!" My temptation towards compassion fatigue is not an excuse for apathy.
2. I am charged to intentionally seek the Lord to understand which widows and orphans I'm to go and care for, and which ones I'm legitimately free to release to the hands of God and the care of others. This will always frustrate someone--most of us feel like the widows and orphans (or whatever other cause that you might feel passionate about) are the ones that matter and that everyone must get on board with.
But I think that we need to allow one another the freedom to engage and choose our particular issues (in step with the Spirit, not in step with simply our own preferences) in an issue-saturated, broken world.
At the end of James 1, we get this charge: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress
Later that evening, I was talking this over with Sam, a friend of mine who's in the small group. One of my struggles with that passage is that when it was written, the orphans and widows that you knew about were in your immediate vicinity. Really, up until about 100 years ago or so, the average person was aware of the pain in his or her town or maybe region and not much beyond that.
Today, of course, we are uber-connected to all the pain in the world. If you were so inclined as to decide to refuse to be happy as long as you knew that others suffered, you would fairly easily live a monstrously joyless life.
My friend Sam pointed out that the social dynamics of the church that James is writing to are different as well. It would seem that the orphans and widows were knocking down the door of the church.
James is telling them to care for the people coming to them, to not turn those people away, as much as he is to go out and meet the needs of the neighbors. Today, at least here in the U.S, our social net is much better constructed...and our churches are fairly segregated socio-economically.
I think that all of this leads me to a couple of convictions:
1. I am charged to "not merely listen to the word and so deceive myself. Do what it says!" My temptation towards compassion fatigue is not an excuse for apathy.
2. I am charged to intentionally seek the Lord to understand which widows and orphans I'm to go and care for, and which ones I'm legitimately free to release to the hands of God and the care of others. This will always frustrate someone--most of us feel like the widows and orphans (or whatever other cause that you might feel passionate about) are the ones that matter and that everyone must get on board with.
But I think that we need to allow one another the freedom to engage and choose our particular issues (in step with the Spirit, not in step with simply our own preferences) in an issue-saturated, broken world.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
faith/evolution/science
My bro recently pointed to an excellent site "exploring the interface between evolutionary science and Christian theology."
Thank goodness for someone who's able to deal with the false either/or of Christianity or evolution. I have many students for whom this is a stumbling block that in my humble, scientifically un-learned opinion, need not be.
The road to faith is challenging enough without creating false challenges to it. I hope and pray that more of this kind of thinking might emerge and take center stage in evangelical Christianity...
Thank goodness for someone who's able to deal with the false either/or of Christianity or evolution. I have many students for whom this is a stumbling block that in my humble, scientifically un-learned opinion, need not be.
The road to faith is challenging enough without creating false challenges to it. I hope and pray that more of this kind of thinking might emerge and take center stage in evangelical Christianity...
Super Scenarios
The SuperBowl that I'm hoping happens: Arizona v. Pittsburgh
A SuperBowl that I would enjoy watching: Philly v. Pittsburgh
The SuperBowl that I'm afraid will happen: Philly v. Baltimore.
And that's my pick for tomorrow's games. Philadelphia wins in the desert and Baltimore wins an ugly defensive struggle in Pittsburgh.
Remember, these picks are for entertainment purposes only...
A SuperBowl that I would enjoy watching: Philly v. Pittsburgh
The SuperBowl that I'm afraid will happen: Philly v. Baltimore.
And that's my pick for tomorrow's games. Philadelphia wins in the desert and Baltimore wins an ugly defensive struggle in Pittsburgh.
Remember, these picks are for entertainment purposes only...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Safe at Home & My Top 10 Hard Rock Songs of All Time
This morning I boarded a plane in Chicago (-6 Farenheit, -30 windchill when I left). I landed at Raleigh-Durham International airport and as I was strolling through to baggage claim I saw breaking news: a plane just crashed into the Hudson River.
Fortunately it looks like everyone got out safe. Sounds like the pilot was a rock star.
It makes me want to hug my kids extra-hard when they come back home from Nanny and Grampy's tomorrow.
On a totally un-related note, I heard from someone recenlty that VH-1 selected Guns 'N Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" as the greatest hard rock song of all time. As a formerly devoted G-N-R fan, I must say that I take great delight in Axl and Co. being awarded such a lofty honor, but I liked "Paradise City" better.
My Top 10 Hard Rock/Hair Band Songs of All Time:
10. Def Leppard, Pour Some Sugar on Me
9. Jane's Addiction, Been Caught Stealin'
8. Van Halen, Jump
7. AC/DC, Back in Black
6. Motley Crue, Dr. Feelgood
5. Metallica, Enter Sandman
4. Bon Jovi, Livin' on a Prayer
3-1: Guns 'N Roses: Welcome to the Jungle, Sweet Child O' Mine, Paradise City
Fortunately it looks like everyone got out safe. Sounds like the pilot was a rock star.
It makes me want to hug my kids extra-hard when they come back home from Nanny and Grampy's tomorrow.
On a totally un-related note, I heard from someone recenlty that VH-1 selected Guns 'N Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" as the greatest hard rock song of all time. As a formerly devoted G-N-R fan, I must say that I take great delight in Axl and Co. being awarded such a lofty honor, but I liked "Paradise City" better.
My Top 10 Hard Rock/Hair Band Songs of All Time:
10. Def Leppard, Pour Some Sugar on Me
9. Jane's Addiction, Been Caught Stealin'
8. Van Halen, Jump
7. AC/DC, Back in Black
6. Motley Crue, Dr. Feelgood
5. Metallica, Enter Sandman
4. Bon Jovi, Livin' on a Prayer
3-1: Guns 'N Roses: Welcome to the Jungle, Sweet Child O' Mine, Paradise City
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Overdue Book Plug
This past fall, my bro released a book: Unlocking Romans.
For Christmas he sent me my very own autographed copy. I've been reading it over the past couple of days. Great, great stuff.
Daniel's writing at a pretty academic level, so this book isn't for everyone. But if you're someone who enjoys a graduate-level study of biblical issues (i.e. if N.T. Wright is on the back of your toilet or on your bedside table), then I'd recommend it.
In terms of Protestant church history, Romans is one of the most central books in all Scripture. Ergo, there's lots that's been written about it over the past many hundred years. You don't have to know every argument that Daniel's countering to get the gist of the book: that the bodily resurrection of Jesus is the primary lens through which we best understand Paul's argument in Romans--even though it's mostly been glossed over throughout the years.
From there, Daniel goes on to apply what it might mean to embrace the resurrection of Christ as a focal point for all of Christian living, not just understanding Romans.
Like I said, it's really good stuff. I'm just bummed that my little brother's book came out before mine: Small Group Leader's Handbook coming to a book distributor near you in November, 2009. Makes a great stocking stuffer!
For Christmas he sent me my very own autographed copy. I've been reading it over the past couple of days. Great, great stuff.
Daniel's writing at a pretty academic level, so this book isn't for everyone. But if you're someone who enjoys a graduate-level study of biblical issues (i.e. if N.T. Wright is on the back of your toilet or on your bedside table), then I'd recommend it.
In terms of Protestant church history, Romans is one of the most central books in all Scripture. Ergo, there's lots that's been written about it over the past many hundred years. You don't have to know every argument that Daniel's countering to get the gist of the book: that the bodily resurrection of Jesus is the primary lens through which we best understand Paul's argument in Romans--even though it's mostly been glossed over throughout the years.
From there, Daniel goes on to apply what it might mean to embrace the resurrection of Christ as a focal point for all of Christian living, not just understanding Romans.
Like I said, it's really good stuff. I'm just bummed that my little brother's book came out before mine: Small Group Leader's Handbook coming to a book distributor near you in November, 2009. Makes a great stocking stuffer!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Joe's Blog
Thanks to several of you who e-mailed me Joe Bauserman's blog.
The posts that he wrote are "from the fireside" or "from the beach" and they are definitely worth reading as he processed his battle with cancer.
The posts that he wrote are "from the fireside" or "from the beach" and they are definitely worth reading as he processed his battle with cancer.
F, H, & L
I'm reading 1 Thessalonians these days. Probably the first letter that Paul wrote, which probably makes it the oldest book of the New Testament.
Sitting down to read it again, I was struck by verse three:
It seems to me that for Paul the work of the gospel is always good works produced by this inner transformation. Our motives matter. What's happening on the inside produces good or bad fruit.
Paul, along with Jesus, have as much to say about the transformation of the heart and motives and attitudes and beliefs as they do about the outworkings of obedience. Both matter, the former and the latter, but the latter can only bear the good fruit intended if there's inner-life change happening as well.
I wrote last week that I'm working with the Enneagram as a sort of A.P. Myers-Briggs to help me to see myself more clearly. The goal of that is that faith, hope, and love might replace the broken motivations of anxiety, pride, and selfishness in the matrix of my motives. This won't happen over-night or even over the next two months of my sabbatical.
But I'm delighted to think that my life might be growing more and more in this direction over the next 35 years or so. That would be a life worth living.
Sitting down to read it again, I was struck by verse three:
We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.It will be many years and many miles later before Paul writes his famous "love chapter" in 1 Corinthians 13, where he summarizes faith, hope, and love as the "three things that remain." But here they are, faith, hope, and love, at the very beginning of the first words written in the New Testament.
It seems to me that for Paul the work of the gospel is always good works produced by this inner transformation. Our motives matter. What's happening on the inside produces good or bad fruit.
Paul, along with Jesus, have as much to say about the transformation of the heart and motives and attitudes and beliefs as they do about the outworkings of obedience. Both matter, the former and the latter, but the latter can only bear the good fruit intended if there's inner-life change happening as well.
I wrote last week that I'm working with the Enneagram as a sort of A.P. Myers-Briggs to help me to see myself more clearly. The goal of that is that faith, hope, and love might replace the broken motivations of anxiety, pride, and selfishness in the matrix of my motives. This won't happen over-night or even over the next two months of my sabbatical.
But I'm delighted to think that my life might be growing more and more in this direction over the next 35 years or so. That would be a life worth living.
Monday, January 12, 2009
In Memorium
A number of times throughout the years I've talked about how Kelly and I worked through some hard stuff in the first five years or so of our marriage. And I've also mentioned that we were in and out of counseling.
The counselor who walked alongside us during those years was Joe Bauserman. He died this past weekend after a battle with cancer.
A couple of days ago I mentioned that I enjoy living the life of a contemplative--prayer, study, retreat. This can be directly attributed to Joe. We were there for an appointment early in our marriage and my staff career. It was approaching summer time and I was telling him how much I disliked the summer--my extroverted self shriveled up in the face of so little contact with students.
Joe was normally very calm and patient and process-oriented, but I remember what he said to me that day: "If you don't learn some disciplines of study and silence and rest then you'll die in your job." So I learned them.
Joe was a gifted counselor and at one point it seemed that everyone we knew had spent some time with him, was meeting with him regularly, or was planning on meeting with him soon. He was a gift to so many people in the Richmond community.
I do plenty of what I call "light counseling" in my job. What I want to do is what Joe did for us: listen well, look for root causes and not get distracted by surface issues, be patient with the process of discovery and repentance.
Joe will be dearly missed. He apparently started a blog to capture his journey as he battled against cancer but I can't find it at the moment. I'll link to it soon.
Good-bye, Joe. My wife and three kids and I all owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude. Thank you.
The counselor who walked alongside us during those years was Joe Bauserman. He died this past weekend after a battle with cancer.
A couple of days ago I mentioned that I enjoy living the life of a contemplative--prayer, study, retreat. This can be directly attributed to Joe. We were there for an appointment early in our marriage and my staff career. It was approaching summer time and I was telling him how much I disliked the summer--my extroverted self shriveled up in the face of so little contact with students.
Joe was normally very calm and patient and process-oriented, but I remember what he said to me that day: "If you don't learn some disciplines of study and silence and rest then you'll die in your job." So I learned them.
Joe was a gifted counselor and at one point it seemed that everyone we knew had spent some time with him, was meeting with him regularly, or was planning on meeting with him soon. He was a gift to so many people in the Richmond community.
I do plenty of what I call "light counseling" in my job. What I want to do is what Joe did for us: listen well, look for root causes and not get distracted by surface issues, be patient with the process of discovery and repentance.
Joe will be dearly missed. He apparently started a blog to capture his journey as he battled against cancer but I can't find it at the moment. I'll link to it soon.
Good-bye, Joe. My wife and three kids and I all owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude. Thank you.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Using, Not Trusting
Psalm 20 is a sweet passage full of hopes of victory and prayers of blessing over the king as he heads out for battle. Towards the end, there's this great little line that has run over and over again in my head over the past couple of weeks.
This using (in an appropriate way, not in the pejorative sense of the word) but not trusting seems to be at the heart of much of the biblical description of how we are to relate to the things of this world. From the Ten Commandments through Jesus through the letters of the New Testament, we are called to enjoy all things at our disposal and to use them but not to put our hope and trust in them.
This has deep ramifications for Christians as we think about our money, particularly, as so many of us are discovering that trusting in our own savings or resources does not yield the security it promises and that we crave.
The idea of using but not trusting is a bit of a tricky dance here on this side of the fall, as people living in the Land of the Ruins. It sounds almost like we're being toyed with, or being baited into something.
But perhaps this prescription is the only way that anyone can be healthy in relation to things. Our obsession with things de-humanizes us. Don't we all know someone who is bent in on money or their car or a hobby who is, well, weird?
This invitation to put our ultimate trust in God frees us to use things in ways that keep us from becoming sick--it's the one option that we have that makes us free, healthy, joyful human beings.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,Now here's the thing. If you were to take a look at the army of Israel during this time, I'm quite sure that you would have found horses and chariots fully employed and in use for battle. The Psalmist here is not outlawing the use of horses and/or chariots. He is saying that while the Israelite army will employ horses and chariots, they will not and do not trust in them for victory.
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
This using (in an appropriate way, not in the pejorative sense of the word) but not trusting seems to be at the heart of much of the biblical description of how we are to relate to the things of this world. From the Ten Commandments through Jesus through the letters of the New Testament, we are called to enjoy all things at our disposal and to use them but not to put our hope and trust in them.
This has deep ramifications for Christians as we think about our money, particularly, as so many of us are discovering that trusting in our own savings or resources does not yield the security it promises and that we crave.
The idea of using but not trusting is a bit of a tricky dance here on this side of the fall, as people living in the Land of the Ruins. It sounds almost like we're being toyed with, or being baited into something.
But perhaps this prescription is the only way that anyone can be healthy in relation to things. Our obsession with things de-humanizes us. Don't we all know someone who is bent in on money or their car or a hobby who is, well, weird?
This invitation to put our ultimate trust in God frees us to use things in ways that keep us from becoming sick--it's the one option that we have that makes us free, healthy, joyful human beings.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Tonights "Championship" Game
I look forward to the day, many years from now, when we look back on college football as we now know it with a rueful grin: "Can you believe how stupid the system was back then?" I cannot wait until we get rid of this dumb BCS thing which only makes sense to those who are making a small fortune on it.
Earth to BCS people: college football could possibly eclipse professional football as the passion of the land if you'd just create a reasonable playoff system. Let me put it in your language: you could make a freakishly larger sum of money if you actually implemented such a system.
In the mean time, we've got Florida v. Oklahoma tonight. Not a bad match-up, just that from what I've seen this year Utah and USC and maybe Texas should all be looking ahead to next weekend's matchup along with the winner of tonight's game.
Tim Tebow should have won the Heisman this year. He'll show why tonight. Florida 45, Oklahoma 36.
Earth to BCS people: college football could possibly eclipse professional football as the passion of the land if you'd just create a reasonable playoff system. Let me put it in your language: you could make a freakishly larger sum of money if you actually implemented such a system.
In the mean time, we've got Florida v. Oklahoma tonight. Not a bad match-up, just that from what I've seen this year Utah and USC and maybe Texas should all be looking ahead to next weekend's matchup along with the winner of tonight's game.
Tim Tebow should have won the Heisman this year. He'll show why tonight. Florida 45, Oklahoma 36.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Gifts and Destruction
So this season of my sabbatical I'm focusing on more specific soul-level work and evaluation. My goal is to have a more clear-eyed understanding of who I am (one definition of humility is simply seeing ourselves as we really are) and to be able to evaluate more faithfully what my thirteen years in ministry has been about.
To do this work, I'm reading about the Enneagram. It's basically an A.P. (Advanced Placement, for those of you for whom high school was a long time ago) Myers-Briggs.
It's a pretty interesting and thorough-going look at personality and ability and motives and how all our baggage and gifts come together for good and/or for ill. The book I'm reading recommends that people engage with the Enneagram sometime in their mid-30's to late-forties, after they've had some time to establish some life-patterns and perhaps become discontent with those patterns.
It's helpful for me that the book I'm reading was written by Richard Rohr, a Catholic Franciscan priest. He is good to tie in a Christian world-view along with biblical characters and saints throughout the ages who fit the different types.
I've just finished reading an overview of the nine types that they sketch out. I'm still trying to figure out where I "fit."
But the core insight that I really resonate with is that our gifts, passions and power that give us the most life also contain the seeds of our self-destruction. Rohr insists on the centrality of repentance and redemption of every type (or "number" in the Eneagram structure) in order for these gifts to mature and bear the fruit that they were made for.
I have seen this already at work in my life. My places of greatest strength and gifting are the places where I'm most tempted towards self-serving and independence rather than dependence on the Spirit and help to do the work faithfully.
To do this work, I'm reading about the Enneagram. It's basically an A.P. (Advanced Placement, for those of you for whom high school was a long time ago) Myers-Briggs.
It's a pretty interesting and thorough-going look at personality and ability and motives and how all our baggage and gifts come together for good and/or for ill. The book I'm reading recommends that people engage with the Enneagram sometime in their mid-30's to late-forties, after they've had some time to establish some life-patterns and perhaps become discontent with those patterns.
It's helpful for me that the book I'm reading was written by Richard Rohr, a Catholic Franciscan priest. He is good to tie in a Christian world-view along with biblical characters and saints throughout the ages who fit the different types.
I've just finished reading an overview of the nine types that they sketch out. I'm still trying to figure out where I "fit."
But the core insight that I really resonate with is that our gifts, passions and power that give us the most life also contain the seeds of our self-destruction. Rohr insists on the centrality of repentance and redemption of every type (or "number" in the Eneagram structure) in order for these gifts to mature and bear the fruit that they were made for.
I have seen this already at work in my life. My places of greatest strength and gifting are the places where I'm most tempted towards self-serving and independence rather than dependence on the Spirit and help to do the work faithfully.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Caillou Christmas
The week leading up to Christmas, the kids were watching Caillou, a PBS kids show. For those of you who don't frequent PBS kids television, Caillou is a cartoon featuring a preschooler (Caillou) and his family. It's generally innocuous entertainment for the kids.
In this particular episode, Caillou's pre-school class was having a "holiday party." At one point in the show, Caillou says he's excited about the class "Christmas party." His mother immediately corrects him: "O no, Caillou, this is a holiday party." She goes on to explain that there are other holidays during this season and that there are kids in his class who celebrate those holidays.
A couple of parenting thoughts as I've been considering this exchange and what it teaches my kids.
1. This is as it ought to be. PBS can't elevate Christmas over the other holidays, nor should they. In other words, it is not PBS's job to teach my kids about the centrality of Christmas. That's my job.
To change the venue a bit, it's also not the public school's job to teach my children about the importance of Christmas. I wouldn't want even a Christian teacher in a public school to ignore the other holidays and the students under their care who celebrate those holidays.
2. At the same time, given that my faith commitments are to Christianity and not pluralism, I don't want Christmas simply lined up with every other possible holiday celebration. I want my kids to be able to engage other faith commitments (be it Judaism or pluralism) from the starting point of God's work in Christ, not from a pretend neutral center that does not actually exist.
3. So I want my kids to be able to engage with humility and gentleness the other celebrations around Christmas through the lense of Christmas. I want them to be firmly fixed on the certain good news that God has acted decisively in human history through the coming, working, dying and resurrection of Jesus Christ at a single point in time and history.
I want them to be able to see how this coming of Christ actually fulfills all the hopes and dreams and desires and partial-celebrations of Kwanzaa and (C)Hanuk(k)ah (thanks, Daniel). But I don't want that to create this un-necessarily intense bifurcation of we're the "good guys" and everyone else are the "bad guys."
4. But as Fowler has mapped, there are stages of faith. It takes emotional and intellectual maturity to be able to hold convictions firmly while also able to enter into the complexity of the world graciously and humbly--the best of us don't usually get there until mid-life!
So where does that leave my wife, me and our five-year-old, three-year-old (today! happy birthday, Zoe!), and 16-month old?
We have to teach them and equip them as best we can to live in a fairly complex, multi-cultural world from the viewpoint of Christian faith. We have to take opportunity to explain things as best we can, with language as best as they can grasp it, all the while praying a ton for wisdom and for the Spirit to do the work that only the Spirit can do.
We could also lock them up in a closet until they're 21, but I think that might be a bit of an over-reaction.
In this particular episode, Caillou's pre-school class was having a "holiday party." At one point in the show, Caillou says he's excited about the class "Christmas party." His mother immediately corrects him: "O no, Caillou, this is a holiday party." She goes on to explain that there are other holidays during this season and that there are kids in his class who celebrate those holidays.
A couple of parenting thoughts as I've been considering this exchange and what it teaches my kids.
1. This is as it ought to be. PBS can't elevate Christmas over the other holidays, nor should they. In other words, it is not PBS's job to teach my kids about the centrality of Christmas. That's my job.
To change the venue a bit, it's also not the public school's job to teach my children about the importance of Christmas. I wouldn't want even a Christian teacher in a public school to ignore the other holidays and the students under their care who celebrate those holidays.
2. At the same time, given that my faith commitments are to Christianity and not pluralism, I don't want Christmas simply lined up with every other possible holiday celebration. I want my kids to be able to engage other faith commitments (be it Judaism or pluralism) from the starting point of God's work in Christ, not from a pretend neutral center that does not actually exist.
3. So I want my kids to be able to engage with humility and gentleness the other celebrations around Christmas through the lense of Christmas. I want them to be firmly fixed on the certain good news that God has acted decisively in human history through the coming, working, dying and resurrection of Jesus Christ at a single point in time and history.
I want them to be able to see how this coming of Christ actually fulfills all the hopes and dreams and desires and partial-celebrations of Kwanzaa and (C)Hanuk(k)ah (thanks, Daniel). But I don't want that to create this un-necessarily intense bifurcation of we're the "good guys" and everyone else are the "bad guys."
4. But as Fowler has mapped, there are stages of faith. It takes emotional and intellectual maturity to be able to hold convictions firmly while also able to enter into the complexity of the world graciously and humbly--the best of us don't usually get there until mid-life!
So where does that leave my wife, me and our five-year-old, three-year-old (today! happy birthday, Zoe!), and 16-month old?
We have to teach them and equip them as best we can to live in a fairly complex, multi-cultural world from the viewpoint of Christian faith. We have to take opportunity to explain things as best we can, with language as best as they can grasp it, all the while praying a ton for wisdom and for the Spirit to do the work that only the Spirit can do.
We could also lock them up in a closet until they're 21, but I think that might be a bit of an over-reaction.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Sabbatical Journey Day 43: Six Week Reflections
A smattering of thoughts from my first six weeks in sabbatical land:
*Sabbatical Unhooking. Perhaps it will come as some encouragement to my students who read this that it's been harder for me to mentally leave campus than I anticipated.
Some of this, of course, has to do with the challenges we had this fall--would've, could've, should'ves have plagued me at various (and sometimes surprising) times. A wise mentor told me it would take about a month to un-hook. That's been about right.
*Sabbatical, Interrupted. It's been a really choppy six weeks. Some of that is just the normal holiday travel and celebrations. Some of that is unusual circumstances: sickness, crisis, etc. But if there was going to be a really choppy month of sabbatical I'm glad it's been this first stretch--it may have in fact facilitated the unhooking process.
*Sabbatical Guilt. Over the past six weeks I've gotten word of several friends who have lost jobs. Losing your job always stinks, but it's obviously even more loaded during the holidays. So I've got friends who are jobless and wondering what's next and here I am, slacking.
Of course, the response to this is that there is always some reason why it's not a good time to be on sabbatical. This particular season it's a bad time because of the economy and some of my friends circumstances. But my clear sense is that this sabbatical is given to me by the Lord for for this time. The Lord has appointed me to have my own seasons of struggle, turmoil, conflict, sadness, victory and celebration. This is a season given to me to rest. It is not a gift that it would be wise to reject or to spend overly-much time feeling guilty about.
*Sabbatical Contemplation. When I first started Piebald Life, my explanation for the title was that it described this split in my inner-world. Part of me is dialed into people, leadership, programs, seeing God's people grow and communities develop and is driven (sometimes to a fault) towards what I consider to be successful ministry.
But another part that I have acquired and developed over the years is a contemplative side. The contemplative tradition in Christianity is devoted to long periods of silence, solitude, reflecting on God's character and beauty and power and worth and our own internal world along as it connects with the wonder and glory of God.
At this point in my life and ministry, I have no problems moving from "leader" mode into "contemplative" mode. In fact, there's a good bit of relief in the transition. Sometimes, I'm afraid, I enjoy the contemplative side because it involves two things that I find endlessly fascinating: God and myself. Clearly, an over-fascination with the latter is not a good thing. I need the Lord to help me from switching the order of those two things and to keep me from making the contemplative life an escape from serving or loving others. Perhaps, again, this is part of the gift of these first six weeks being so choppy.
*Sabbatical "Progress." Even in the midst of some interruption and not much of the rhythm I hoped, I have done what I wanted (and I think needed) to do during these first six weeks. I have unhooked. I have read Lord of the Rings. I have watched plenty of college football. I have spent some sweet hours at Starbucks and/or Panera with my Bible and journal. This first season of sabbatical is over--I have taken the deep breath that I needed.
The next stretch will be devoted to more directed soul-examination. And beyond that, to looking back over the past 13 years in ministry to see if a birds-eye-view of the patterns, opportunities, challenges and set-backs might bear the fruit in my soul of worship and understanding what God has done so that I might be more fully equipped to follow him more eagerly in the future.
*Sabbatical Unhooking. Perhaps it will come as some encouragement to my students who read this that it's been harder for me to mentally leave campus than I anticipated.
Some of this, of course, has to do with the challenges we had this fall--would've, could've, should'ves have plagued me at various (and sometimes surprising) times. A wise mentor told me it would take about a month to un-hook. That's been about right.
*Sabbatical, Interrupted. It's been a really choppy six weeks. Some of that is just the normal holiday travel and celebrations. Some of that is unusual circumstances: sickness, crisis, etc. But if there was going to be a really choppy month of sabbatical I'm glad it's been this first stretch--it may have in fact facilitated the unhooking process.
*Sabbatical Guilt. Over the past six weeks I've gotten word of several friends who have lost jobs. Losing your job always stinks, but it's obviously even more loaded during the holidays. So I've got friends who are jobless and wondering what's next and here I am, slacking.
Of course, the response to this is that there is always some reason why it's not a good time to be on sabbatical. This particular season it's a bad time because of the economy and some of my friends circumstances. But my clear sense is that this sabbatical is given to me by the Lord for for this time. The Lord has appointed me to have my own seasons of struggle, turmoil, conflict, sadness, victory and celebration. This is a season given to me to rest. It is not a gift that it would be wise to reject or to spend overly-much time feeling guilty about.
*Sabbatical Contemplation. When I first started Piebald Life, my explanation for the title was that it described this split in my inner-world. Part of me is dialed into people, leadership, programs, seeing God's people grow and communities develop and is driven (sometimes to a fault) towards what I consider to be successful ministry.
But another part that I have acquired and developed over the years is a contemplative side. The contemplative tradition in Christianity is devoted to long periods of silence, solitude, reflecting on God's character and beauty and power and worth and our own internal world along as it connects with the wonder and glory of God.
At this point in my life and ministry, I have no problems moving from "leader" mode into "contemplative" mode. In fact, there's a good bit of relief in the transition. Sometimes, I'm afraid, I enjoy the contemplative side because it involves two things that I find endlessly fascinating: God and myself. Clearly, an over-fascination with the latter is not a good thing. I need the Lord to help me from switching the order of those two things and to keep me from making the contemplative life an escape from serving or loving others. Perhaps, again, this is part of the gift of these first six weeks being so choppy.
*Sabbatical "Progress." Even in the midst of some interruption and not much of the rhythm I hoped, I have done what I wanted (and I think needed) to do during these first six weeks. I have unhooked. I have read Lord of the Rings. I have watched plenty of college football. I have spent some sweet hours at Starbucks and/or Panera with my Bible and journal. This first season of sabbatical is over--I have taken the deep breath that I needed.
The next stretch will be devoted to more directed soul-examination. And beyond that, to looking back over the past 13 years in ministry to see if a birds-eye-view of the patterns, opportunities, challenges and set-backs might bear the fruit in my soul of worship and understanding what God has done so that I might be more fully equipped to follow him more eagerly in the future.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Tolkien Christmas Grab-Bag
*So we had a great Christmas...in fact, we're still having a great Christmas. With six grandparents all making appearances of one type or another, Christmas just keeps going and going. The last of four Christmas's will go down tomorrow. Spreading it out is a good way to go--it keeps the kids heads from completely exploding with excitement Christmas morning.
*Highlights for me included finishing Lord of the Rings for the fourth time. A few quick observations this time around:
1. The story is epic. It's vast and sweeping and intricate and nuanced and just a ton of fun.
2. I think that even the most ardent LOTR fan would say that at points Tolkien's writing gets a little campy, a bit over the top in his eagerness to make a point about how "kingly" this person looked at this moment or how significant a certain event was.
3. This was my first time reading the books since watching the movies a couple years ago. I continue to be grateful for how true to the story the movie was, with some notable exceptions.
I am particularly vexed that they sent Strider to an almost/non-death in the second movie. Seriously, there are enough important characters throughout the story that have "we thought he was dead" moments that they didn't need to create another one.
4. Some tremendous quotes, here was my favorite:
*We saw a couple of movies over Christmas. Hancock was a lot of fun. But no matter what anyone tries to tell you, avoid seeing Mama Mia like the plague.
*Highlights for me included finishing Lord of the Rings for the fourth time. A few quick observations this time around:
1. The story is epic. It's vast and sweeping and intricate and nuanced and just a ton of fun.
2. I think that even the most ardent LOTR fan would say that at points Tolkien's writing gets a little campy, a bit over the top in his eagerness to make a point about how "kingly" this person looked at this moment or how significant a certain event was.
3. This was my first time reading the books since watching the movies a couple years ago. I continue to be grateful for how true to the story the movie was, with some notable exceptions.
I am particularly vexed that they sent Strider to an almost/non-death in the second movie. Seriously, there are enough important characters throughout the story that have "we thought he was dead" moments that they didn't need to create another one.
4. Some tremendous quotes, here was my favorite:
"My I not live my life as I will?"*Christmas cheers for my wife, she is tremendously thoughtful about gifts for our kids. We give them each three gifts, in keeping with the biblical story of the three wise men who brought gifts. We discuss the gifts but she really does the creative work as well as the leg-work. And the gifts were all big hits this year. I really appreciate how thoughtful and intentional she is about knowing our kids, gift-giving is just one opportunity to see that in action.
"Few may do that with honor."
*We saw a couple of movies over Christmas. Hancock was a lot of fun. But no matter what anyone tries to tell you, avoid seeing Mama Mia like the plague.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
See Comments
I was going to change direction today, but my good friend Macon left a shining example of a stirring and insightful comment (as is his wont), even pre-caffeinated. This sparked my own, distant and faint echo of a lesser thought that I posted in response and I will leave it at that for a while.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Happy New Year, everyone!
Monday, December 29, 2008
No Doubt Part 3: The Great and Terrible Exchange
In the end I want to humbly propose that Shanley has exchanged a greater good (humility) for a lesser good (doubt) in order to achieve a certain set of ends that are admirable and good (community).
And what I want to say is that this is simply a small and specific but very concrete picture of what all of us do just about every day on this side of the great and terrible exchange described in the Scriptures.
Our lives, lived here among the land of the ruins, are a shadow of what they might have been. This comes about as the result of the first great and terrible exchange, and it is perpetuated and exacerbated by the ways that we re-enact that same exchange in our daily lives: doubt in place of humility, revenge in place of forgiveness, lies in place of truth, cheating in place of integrity, cynicism in place of hope, walking in the shadow rather than living in the Light, self-determination rather than submission and trust.
The work of Jesus and the power at work in the gift of his Holy Spirit are the gifts given to us to roll back that exchange "far as the curse is found." To make right choices again, stumbling and fitfully, is the opportunity offered us as we are invited to live our lives following the One who made us.
And what I want to say is that this is simply a small and specific but very concrete picture of what all of us do just about every day on this side of the great and terrible exchange described in the Scriptures.
Our lives, lived here among the land of the ruins, are a shadow of what they might have been. This comes about as the result of the first great and terrible exchange, and it is perpetuated and exacerbated by the ways that we re-enact that same exchange in our daily lives: doubt in place of humility, revenge in place of forgiveness, lies in place of truth, cheating in place of integrity, cynicism in place of hope, walking in the shadow rather than living in the Light, self-determination rather than submission and trust.
The work of Jesus and the power at work in the gift of his Holy Spirit are the gifts given to us to roll back that exchange "far as the curse is found." To make right choices again, stumbling and fitfully, is the opportunity offered us as we are invited to live our lives following the One who made us.
No Doubt Part 2: The Poor Man's Way
So while I disagree with Shanley's means (doubt) I actually thoroughly agree with his ends. Shanley's chief concern seems to be that certainty cuts us off from community. To come to a place of certainty about things means that you are done with dialogue or conversation with fellow human beings.
I think that Shanley's goal is good. Most of us have known people who are so certain that they know everything about everything that it is, indeed, impossible to have genuine discussion or dialogue. Some of us are that person. Hopefully you know who you are.
But the problem is that to become cut-off and smug is a possible but not necessary consequence of certainty. In other words, it is possible to have certainty in a winsome way that does not end discussion but, to the contrary, promotes it in a healthy way.
The Biblical word for this is posture towards certainty: humility.
What Shanley has done, at least in the way that he talks about it, is exchange "humility" for "doubt." Doubt as it functions here is simply a poor-man's humility. Doubt requires none of the self-discipline or character or integrity or patience or wisdom that humility does.
Doubt allows room for discussion without the responsibility to act or respond wisely in light of the experience of the conversation. Indeed, perpetual doubt does not require any action on our part at all except to go on doubting endlessly and pointlessly.
Rather than exist in this perpetual posture of doubt that is exhausting intellectually (it takes a ton of work to doubt everything) and vacuous emotionally (eventually doubt robs us of the ability to enter into any joy seriously) and untenable philosophically (to be certain about doubt as the best way to live is to be certain about something, and so the thing collapses in on itself), it might actually be better to pursue a life of genuine humility, though that road is certainly no easier.
I think that Shanley's goal is good. Most of us have known people who are so certain that they know everything about everything that it is, indeed, impossible to have genuine discussion or dialogue. Some of us are that person. Hopefully you know who you are.
But the problem is that to become cut-off and smug is a possible but not necessary consequence of certainty. In other words, it is possible to have certainty in a winsome way that does not end discussion but, to the contrary, promotes it in a healthy way.
The Biblical word for this is posture towards certainty: humility.
What Shanley has done, at least in the way that he talks about it, is exchange "humility" for "doubt." Doubt as it functions here is simply a poor-man's humility. Doubt requires none of the self-discipline or character or integrity or patience or wisdom that humility does.
Doubt allows room for discussion without the responsibility to act or respond wisely in light of the experience of the conversation. Indeed, perpetual doubt does not require any action on our part at all except to go on doubting endlessly and pointlessly.
Rather than exist in this perpetual posture of doubt that is exhausting intellectually (it takes a ton of work to doubt everything) and vacuous emotionally (eventually doubt robs us of the ability to enter into any joy seriously) and untenable philosophically (to be certain about doubt as the best way to live is to be certain about something, and so the thing collapses in on itself), it might actually be better to pursue a life of genuine humility, though that road is certainly no easier.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
No Doubt Part 1
So the movie Doubt came out recently and I read an interview with writer/director John Patrick Shanley. In the interview, Shanley, of course, celebrates a life philosophy of doubt. "I would endlessly dispute anything" Shanley bluntly states in the interview.
He argues that certainty ends the conversation...or at least that it tends to do so. He exorts us to be in unceasing dialogue with other people. He says that doubt opens us up to genuine dialogue and exchange of ideas.
I think that Shanley is simply reflecting a deepening and growing cultural value. Doubt has become exalted as one of the most authentic and "real" values. To believe or trust or hope blinds us, it's argued. To doubt is the only way to get to the bottom of anything.
I see this cultural value playing out in various Christian communities. Particularly for people who grew up in the church--to continue to believe often feels naive and to doubt seems more intelligent.
Now certainly for many people doubting is a part of owning their faith. But doubt is not and cannot be a permanent posture for a life of any genuine quality. Shanley says that it's not exhausting to doubt everything. But that's clearly not the case for many people. For many, a life of doubt leads them eventually to the shadowland of a life of apathy or cynicism.
And to say that doubt is the best tool to foster conversation is to say something with a strong degree of certainty. So Shanley is fairly certain that doubt is better than certainty. He's not doubting his posture of dubiousness.
And so eventually this whole thing crumbles. Shanley ought to be doubting his doubting-ness--it's impossible to maintain with any real cohesion a philosophy of eternal and permanent doubt. Eventually it all implodes.
He argues that certainty ends the conversation...or at least that it tends to do so. He exorts us to be in unceasing dialogue with other people. He says that doubt opens us up to genuine dialogue and exchange of ideas.
I think that Shanley is simply reflecting a deepening and growing cultural value. Doubt has become exalted as one of the most authentic and "real" values. To believe or trust or hope blinds us, it's argued. To doubt is the only way to get to the bottom of anything.
I see this cultural value playing out in various Christian communities. Particularly for people who grew up in the church--to continue to believe often feels naive and to doubt seems more intelligent.
Now certainly for many people doubting is a part of owning their faith. But doubt is not and cannot be a permanent posture for a life of any genuine quality. Shanley says that it's not exhausting to doubt everything. But that's clearly not the case for many people. For many, a life of doubt leads them eventually to the shadowland of a life of apathy or cynicism.
And to say that doubt is the best tool to foster conversation is to say something with a strong degree of certainty. So Shanley is fairly certain that doubt is better than certainty. He's not doubting his posture of dubiousness.
And so eventually this whole thing crumbles. Shanley ought to be doubting his doubting-ness--it's impossible to maintain with any real cohesion a philosophy of eternal and permanent doubt. Eventually it all implodes.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Much Ado About Santa
In our circles over the past couple of weeks, there's been much conversation about what to do about Santa. We want our kids to know the real purpose of Christmas, and Santa's a massive distraction for that.
I really like how my parents handled this, so we're going with it. Santa stuffs the stockings, that's it. So we knew who gave (and had to write freakin' thank you notes for) all the real gifts. Santa brought a boatload of candy an occasional small present along the way.
Just an idea for those of you who are in the same pre-school boat that we are. My good friend Marshall has a thoughtful post about this with a different take. Actually, our kids have shown very little interest in Santa to this point, but I'm sure that'll change.
Due to travel schedules around here, today is our family's Christmas Eve. We'll be doing our big opening tomorrow and then doing some traveling, so this is my last post for a couple of days. Here are a couple of sweet kid pics and Merry Christmas!
Davis and Zoe prepare for the church Christmas play. Zoe was an angel, Davis was a wise man. I laughed, I cried, I wanted to see it again and again. Better than Cats.
Emma Kate, at 15 months, is still learning how to walk. All her energy to this point, I believe, has gone to her vocal cords--she talks in EK-Language non-stop. We hoped that giving her sunglasses would help her to focus on her walking, but you can see how much good that did us.
I really like how my parents handled this, so we're going with it. Santa stuffs the stockings, that's it. So we knew who gave (and had to write freakin' thank you notes for) all the real gifts. Santa brought a boatload of candy an occasional small present along the way.
Just an idea for those of you who are in the same pre-school boat that we are. My good friend Marshall has a thoughtful post about this with a different take. Actually, our kids have shown very little interest in Santa to this point, but I'm sure that'll change.
Due to travel schedules around here, today is our family's Christmas Eve. We'll be doing our big opening tomorrow and then doing some traveling, so this is my last post for a couple of days. Here are a couple of sweet kid pics and Merry Christmas!
Davis and Zoe prepare for the church Christmas play. Zoe was an angel, Davis was a wise man. I laughed, I cried, I wanted to see it again and again. Better than Cats.
Emma Kate, at 15 months, is still learning how to walk. All her energy to this point, I believe, has gone to her vocal cords--she talks in EK-Language non-stop. We hoped that giving her sunglasses would help her to focus on her walking, but you can see how much good that did us.
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