Greek mythology produced a veritable plethora of gods, most all of whom had one thing in common: they were very human. The Greeks took human issues and emotions and projected them loudly into gods--they were capricious, jealous, fought a lot with each other, messed with humans only when necessary, bored, or smitten. It makes for interesting stories, but horrifying Supreme Beings.
Yesterday morning I wrote up my rant about Zoe not sleeping. I went to publish it on the blog and it wouldn't post. I tried several times, it wouldn't post. I wondered if God was angry at me for questioning his goodness. So I wrote up a better p.r. piece for God, the second post, which I had originally intended to write up before Zoe boycotted sleep and God seemed to ignore our prayers. That one wouldn't publish either. I wondered if God was just mad at me blogging altogether.
Several hours later, I found out that the blogger server was down. Later that night, BOTH posts went up automatically.
This morning as I was reflecting on that whole experience, I realized the issues I was dealing with in the post were good. God does not want me to follow him like an idiot. Questions and wrestling are part of the process. The real problem yesterday was my mental exchange of Jesus for Zeus, sitting on High, recreationally blocking blog posts that happen to make him look bad. I rejoiced this morning as I repented--that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit God is nothing like me or Zeus, and that he is glad to enter into the messy process with me.
And since I ranted publicly yesterday, let me also rejoice publicly this morning: Zoe slept much better last night. Of course Davis, who usually wakes up at a reasonable 6:30 then woke up at 5 a.m.
1 comment:
This makes me feel a lot better for the things I've been mentally, if not verbally, ranting about lately. I realize that sometimes I just don't give frustrating or anxiety-producing areas up to God easily enough, but there are also times where I just need to get it out and be aggravated that I don't feel I understand what's going on with myself or between me and God. The past couple days have been sort of like that (white identity issues suck), and your post just sorta helped reassure me that God is here in my confusion and frustration and is willing to listen to that and use that.
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