You know, at any other point in my life if someone said, "Hey, take four weeks off and do whatever" it would be awesome. But as it is, staring down the last month of my sabbatical feels a little like it's all going so very fast.
I was talking with Joe Moore, national spiritual formation guru and all-around quality human being about my return: "I feel this pressure to come back monastic. Zen-like. Perfectly at peace with myself and God and nature or something."
He responded to my sarcasm by saying that detachment might be an important thing for me to think and pray about over the next four weeks. Detachment, this cognitive distance between me and the work, me and the people around me, me and my circumstances.
I took my sabbatical not because the start of the fall semester was so hard but because it was hard and I felt myself over-reacting. I could tell that my internal world was not balanced. I was overly-wrapped up in all that was going on. So I knew that I needed some space. I needed some detachment in my life.
The problem was, I couldn't think of one leader that I admired who seemed to be detached. Passionate, visionary, committed, strong, humble, servants, leaders, teachers, counselors...all sorts of adjectives, but detached wasn't one that came to mind for any of them.
And then, I looked at Jesus.
He loves people but does not cater to them. He says harsh words and gentle words in step with the Spirit, not to try to make people happy. At times he teaches and the large crowds gather and listen with delight. At times he teaches his "chapter" and the people leave.
Detachment didn't initially sit well with me. It seemed too removed, too un-moved, apathetic or passive. But Jesus' detachment from the crowd and his ministry "success" or "failure" starts with a rabid attachment. He is deeply connected with his Father. All else is secondary.
So I'm drilling down these last four weeks into the love of the Father. I hope to lead more like Jesus when I get back to campus in about four weeks. Maybe I won't be one with nature come March 16th.
But I can be anchored in the love of a perfect Father to free me to love and serve with a holy detachment. That would be a great blessing to students, my staff team, my family, and my own soul. And that would be a sabbatical well-spent, indeed.
2 comments:
Radical attachement as the flipside of detachment...that's so helpful, Alex.
I've never been able to get myself excited about the whole detachment idea. I think maybe it sounded too apathetic.
But I can really see how a radical and deepening attachment to the Father would lead to this much-sought-after detachment from the world. It reminds me of Foster's distinction between Christian meditation (filling your mind with God's thoughts) and other forms of meditation (emptying your mind).
Great post, Alex. Thanks!
steve,
thanks for your comment.
i completely agree that the idea of 'detachment' apart from attachment seems to fall off onto the wrong side of what Foster is talking about. i don't think that joe means it this way, but i couldn't quite shake this un-settledness about detachment until i really considered jesus' way of going about it.
great to hear from you...rockbridge will be here before you know it! look forward to seeing you
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