Those of you who remember the case might remember that there was one false arrest a week or two before they caught them--that happened five minutes from the school where my wife Kelly taught fifth grade.
So I was moved today as I read about the execution of the sniper last night, seven years after his reign of terror ended with ten dead.
What was particularly striking was the quotes of the victims' families. One guy who's sister was killed said he felt no closure. His death was too quick and easy...and it didn't change anything. He was still bitter and reeling.
Another guy was talking about forgiveness. His brother had been gunned down. His quote was simple and profound:
"One is that God calls for me to do that in the Bible and the second thing is related to that. If I don't, it rots me from the inside out. It doesn't really hurt John Muhammad or anybody that I have bitterness against."This, my friends is truth. Unforgiveness simply rots us from the inside out. What is this foolish illusion that we live under that unforgiveness, anger, nursing grudges does anything to anyone else except the corruption of our souls, the hardening of our hearts, and the closing off of our imaginations to the realities of love, grace, forgiveness and peace? It is worshiping at a god of our own self-destruction.
For those of us who call ourselves Christ-followers, the call is even more severe: we must forgive others because we ourselves have been forgiven much. The only commentary that Jesus offers on his own model prayer in the gospels is about the forgiveness part: if we don't forgive others, God will not forgive us. Yikes.
If I had lost a family member to this guy, I have no idea how I would have responded to last night's execution. I pray to God that I might have the gift of grace to forgive.
But in the mean time, I've got my own, smaller ghosts that I've got to forgive and let go of. My un-forgiveness isn't affecting them one bit. I'm the one left rotting as a result of my un-forgiveness, not them.
And besides, if I don't practice with those smaller ghosts whose to say that I'd be able to forgive should something really serious come my way?
1 comment:
Alex,
The news last night really shook me to the core. I can't imagine how difficult it was for you being in closer proximity to the chaos at the time of the shootings to make sense of all of this. I guess I'm really surprised and interested in how we think that watching someone else die could bring us closure. It begs the question of what the relative who thought the execution would bring him inner peace is to do now that JAM is dead? Or if someone claims to have found peace with God, why did they attend the horrible experience of an execution where the ghastly images will likely play back in their minds over and over again.
I read an interesting article from someone who studies victim-offender reconciliation programs. The psychological reports that the writer found claimed that most people added to their sense of trauma after watching an execution. Simultaneously, they lost the connection with the perpetrator who could help them have closure. For some it meant the chance to hope for a greater good in the perpetrator and/or to ask questions or to express feelings toward the perpetrator.
--Jen Smith
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