Pride (In the Name of Love): The Power to Bless or Curse

I think I posted this past fall that Davis was playing soccer, his first foray into the world of organized sports. The Silver Streaks were a sweet gang of four and five years olds, most of whom were also making their first foray into the world of organized sports.

Every team we played, however, had at least one prodigious player who apparently had been playing soccer en utero and had been to multiple summer soccer camps...in Brazil. The result: the Silver Streaks were usually outscored by an average of 24-6. I'm not kidding.

But in the last couple of games, a light bulb went off for Davis. He was more confident and began to get a feel for the game.

So last Tuesday, at his first soccer practice for the spring season, I felt something new when in the middle of a scrimmage Davis darted towards the ball, dribbled it down the length of the field and scored a goal, earning a high-five from his new coach.

The new thing was pride, specifically pride in something my son can do, not just in who he is as a person.

And it seems at this point, as a dad, I have the opportunity to bless my son with a tremendous gift or saddle him with a curse that he could be stuck with for the rest of his life. How do I proceed with a healthy pride in my son's accomplishments?

Biblically speaking, the priority is always on character and identity before doing or accomplishments. But that doesn't mean that what we do doesn't matter. Jesus tells one judgment parable where the verdict on the people being judged is decided with a rousing "WELL DONE!"

Many of you reading this post are adults walking with wounds from not hearing from your parents that they were proud of what you did. At some point, that matters. We were made for it to matter.

But it must be about him, not me. I think this is what distinguishes a pride that blesses versus a pride that inflicts a curse.

It is not about Davis reflecting back on me. It is not about me living out my un-fulfilled athletic dreams through him. If it becomes about me, then it gets twisted and sick, full of pressures and frustrations and agonies and dysfunction that should never accompany kids kicking a ball around.

It's about him being the person that God made him to be. Really. And when I can spot that, and celebrate it along with him, it blesses him and helps him to flower into the man he was created to be. And that's the kind of dad I want to be. No ridiculous pressure to earn a college scholarship by age 7. Go have fun.

In one sense that's too bad; I hear that there are some pretty sweet sites to see in Brazil.