Strong Medicine, Part 2

And then there's kids. They're wonderful. And they, too, are strong medicine for the Lord's project of unselfing us into Himself.

Anyone who thinks that people are naturally good has obviously never had kids. Everything that most cultures have called "good" throughout history has to be taught to them: not slugging their sister, using the bathroom, sharing, and sleeping in on weekends are a few that come to mind.

And so having kids is yet another step of teaching us to live outside ourselves. Many secularists would prefer to leave it at that--that the goal is to care for others and that's good enough. But I think most of us know plenty of people who end up caring for others to the point that it gets plenty co-dependent and unhealthy or just burnt out. Even caring for other people is not a big enough fish tank for our souls to grow into.

Marriage and kids are shadows and pointers. They are tools of character formation and shaping and changing. But all of it serves an even greater purpose: to point us to the God who made us. We must be unselfed or we will die in ourselves. Those are the only two options. And of course the self that is being put off pouts, fusses, screams and kicks. But if we allow the self it's own way, we would be ruined forever and ever and ever. So God, in his severe mercy, uses any and all tools he can find, even cute little ones that make my heart ache with love at times, to teach me that life is bigger than the self would have me to believe.