Three Boy Ducks in a Row and Serving Without Getting Soaking Wet

One of the things that I really love about my six-year-old boy is that he's got a sweet, sweet disposition. He's eager to please, eager to meet other kids (especially if there's a ball involved), and earnest about taking care of younger kids.

Last week at the beach, we met Citizen, a four-year boy that Davis buddied up with at the pool. They played together for a while and we connected with their parents. We promised to look for each other on the beach the next morning.

However, the next morning Davis found a new buddy, Jack. And Jack was a big, bad 7-year-old. Davis was smitten, following him around and eager to play whatever he was into.

Citizen showed up later that morning. And he was excited to see Davis...except Davis was too busy trying to impress and keep up with Jack to pay much attention to Citizen. The three of them walked around like ducks in a row: Jack in the lead, Davis eagerly behind him, Citizen chattering away at Davis, trying to keep up.

When Davis was in the position of authority and "power" by virtue of being older, he was very present and thoughtful about caring for a new buddy. When he was displaced from that position by virtue of being in a new relationship where he was the young one, he was too busy trying to keep up to serve Citizen in the same way.

I think this is true of all of us. It is impossible to serve from a place of uncertainty--at least for very long. We are hard-wired to make sure our own needs are met and then to serve from the overflow of that. If we are in deficit (emotionally, physically, etc) it's extremely hard to give to others.

And that's one of the reasons why the Scriptures promise us so very, very much.

Paul spends 11 chapters in Romans extolling and celebrating and outlining and working out all that God has done--the extravagance of his grace and mercy and power and wonder and all of the goodness of Jesus. Then he hashes out in great detail all the implications for us--we are not condemned, we are holy, free, filled with God's Spirit.

It's not until chapter 12 (out of 16 total chapters) that Paul makes the turn to the "therefore:" "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." (Romans 12:1)

He spends eleven chapters telling us about God, God's plan, God's great love for us and all the implications for our identity and our certainty and our confidence. And not until he's unpacked all of that does he call us to serve God and serve one another (see the last four chapters of Romans!).

Serving out of an insecure place is like trying to pull someone up into a canoe in the middle of a river. You will both fall in and get wet. Serving out of the place God has put us is like pulling someone out of a river while standing on a rock.

God says all the infinite riches of his love, grace and mercy are poured out on us. And then he says to us in that place of perfect security and provision: "serve."

Apart from serving from that deeply rooted place, there are only two possible outcomes: serving that leads to burn-out, serving that leads to a deep-rooted self-righteousness, or serving that pretends to be about the other but is really about propping myself up--a using of others to make me feel good about me rather than a genuine serving of the other.

I gently encouraged Davis to tend to Citizen some--and he sweetly did so, or at least tried. I'm praying for him and for me, that we'd find our deep rootedness in the infinitely secure Christ so that we might be able to serve and love others...without getting soaking wet.

About Boundaries

Last week I was meeting with a student who confessed that she was burnt-out from trying to serve everyone around her. She has strong mercy gifts and is studying to go into medicine, so she volunteers a lot at the children's hospital on top of being a slight study-a-holic.

I have mentioned in previous posts that when it comes to spiritual gifts, mercy is not one of mine. Few things exhaust me more than working some sort of spring break or weekend trip to do Habitat, serve a meal to the homeless or tutor a bunch of kids. Give me door-to-door evangelism in the 'hood (or, what's probably more risky, my own neighborhood) over serving people any day. This does not, of course, excuse me from doing those things, it just means that I'm not going to be super-energized when I do them. Jesus' spiritual gifts test probably would have scored very high in mercy...

So what the Lord does is He gives me great students like the woman I met with last week. She, by her very life, reminds me that the Lord has a special place in his heart for the poor and hurting. And I, being not overly-inclined that way, have perspective to help keep her healthy. And so this is what I told my slightly burnt-out, mercy over-achiever:

Jesus left people.

In Mark 1, at the very outset of Jesus' ministry, he heals a bunch of people. The next morning he goes out to a solitary place and prays. The freshly-recruited disciples form a search party, perhaps a bit concerned that their meal-ticket has disappeared. When they find him, they say to Jesus, "Everyone is looking for you." Jesus response? "Let us go somewhere else."

Jesus did not heal every sick person. He did not feed every hungry person. He had boundaries. He said no.

Christmas time is a time for giving, and there's lots of folks lobbying and tugging at us to give to those in need. And we need to do so, Christians first and foremost.

But for those whose hearts are heavy with the cares and needs of the world, take heart: Jesus left people. You do not have to fix everything. You cannot. There is a Messiah, you are not Him. All of us (mercy gifted or not) who follow Jesus Christ have work to do, good works that he has prepared in advance for us to do. We are to do those works, in step with the Holy Spirit. No more, no less. To do more serving than the Lord would have for you to do is (are you ready for this?) a sin. Ultimately you are deciding that it is up to you to be God, both in your own life and in the lives of the people that you are trying to serve.

And so sometimes that means that you leave good things undone. Thank goodness! We are allowed to be freed from the tyranny of the infinite number of needs in our world to serve first and foremost a loving and gracious God.