Every so often over the past fourteen years of doing campus ministry I step back and realize that I'm expending a great deal of energy creating community for my students while I am participating in very little for myself.
The apostle Paul's life was marked by prayer, community and mission. Restoring right relationships was central to all that he did and all that he taught. My own life is too sparsely marked by community to have the quality and depth that I long for and that I was created for.
This dirth of real community is a reality for most of us. But I think that men are particularly inept at it. Women have their own challenges with community, but us guys seldom get to the point where we have the depth of relationships to get into the type of trouble that women can tend to get into. And as a man, I include myself with this sorry lot.
Men generally don't know how to engage at the places and depths where it matters: are you loving your wife? are you loving your kids? are you loving Jesus right now? how is it with your soul?
Work and fantasy football and golf/fishing/video game/whatever conversations all have a place within this larger context of more genuine engagement. When it's only about work, fantasy football, and golf, then it's vapid; "how is it with your soul" is the anti-vapid question.
On the other extreme, attempts at making relationships perpetually super-intense/spiritual/emotional/deep come up empty and hollow--most of us cannot live at the deep end of the ocean all the time.
So this week I'm taking a shot at gathering some men together for some sort of regular, committed-to-each-other community. My hope is that we might be able to forge soul-level friendships. My hope is that the question "how is it with your soul" might be met here not with blank stares but with welcome, thoughtful, honesty.
A friend once shared about the dream of having a "board of directors," a group of men who help to make and process life decisions like job changes and navigating family challenges. It would be glorious if we knew and trusted one another well enough to have this type of commitment to one another.
But all of this is pipe dreams right now. We'll see what happens on Tuesday night as we meet and begin to talk about what God might do in us together. I'm hoping we might take some good first steps--honesty with each other, and the space to encourage one another towards the Lord, towards our wives and kids, and towards the mission God has called each of us to be a part of.
And if that doesn't work out, I've got my fantasy football draft in a couple of weeks. Maybe the guys could help me to decide what to do with my first-round pick.
1 comment:
14 years ! i remember when you were first starting out ! you are making me feel way too old !!
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