Enter Jesus.
At first what I want Jesus to do is to plug into this whole system and make me better by helping me to perform better. But Jesus refuses to be a part of this. Jesus refuses to participate in this little economy that I've set up, comprised as it is of lies, half-truths, and occasional accuracies.
Instead, Jesus comes through my life and kicks over the tables of these voices. None of this is life. All of it is death. For me to find my identity in my performance will only lead to exhaustion, never peace; anxiety, never joy.
So Jesus comes in with a glorious offer: exchange rooting my identity in my performance for a new rooted-ness. I can live with my identity wrapped up in his life, in his mercy and grace and love. No more must I live under the tyranny of my own ability or in-ability to perform.
Jesus offers to exchange my voices of anxiety for his voice of freedom and love. A new name, that's what he offers me. It's the final redemption of my soul that I'd find my new name in him rather than exhaust myself with attempts at self-re-naming.
With my life-roots in Christ, my identity no longer depends on me doing everything right. I am no longer getting queasy on the roller-coaster of my performance. Who I am is no longer dependent on me. It's fully dependent on Christ, who has already lived the perfect life that I could never live. The grade on me doesn't shift from day to day.
I am in Christ. I am in love, freedom, peace, joy, hope. That's who I am. It is finished.
3 comments:
None of this is life. All of it is death.
Wait, didn't you say that sometimes He agrees with you on some of your voices? :)
Jordan,
yeah, sometimes he does. like the reality is that I'll never be a good singer!
the point is that this whole economy of me trying to carve out my identity by my performance is death. it's a broken system as a whole, even if some of the individual voices might be true!
thanks for keeping me honest, jordan!
Just consider what IV would be like without Baby Shark, though! (I'm secretly an optimist at heart.)
I kinda already knew what you meant. I just remember too much of things I hear to not cite you on that! :)
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