The way that regret and guilt and shame and self-condemnation and other such things work in our lives is they operate just below the surface. Even when we are directly feeling them, they're often these voices we hear in our heads reminding us of certain bad decisions, telling us certain things, etc.
So as we wrap up on regret, here's some practical thoughts on what to do with the voices in your head.
First, you've got to bring those sub-terranean voices out of the darkness and into the light. That means take the time to identify and actually write out every lie and every regret that haunts you. Write down exactly what it is that you hear and that you're tempted to believe.
Next, commit those things to the Lord. Offer those voices and lies up to the Lord and ask Him to show you what is actually true. Some of the voices we hear are rooted in something that is true but has been twisted or amplified or exaggerated. Ask the Lord for the Holy Spirit to be active in taking these things and exposing them. Also ask for a fresh awareness and acuteness to when those voices begin to speak or have power over your actions. Being aware of when and where your most often tempted to believe a lie is powerful information to break bad thought cycles.
As you look over your list and consider it, begin to write out a response to each thing that you hear. Some of them will be obvious, other things are so deeply enmeshed in our lives and souls that we can barely discern the falsehood and lies that are woven into them. The process of writing down the truth in response to each of these things will most likely be exactly that--a process. Don't rush it, make it a matter of prayer.
Consider asking this as you're praying: how do these voices reveal what my idols are? Idols are anything that you tend to worship apart from God: approval, performance, achievement, accomplishment, etc. The voices in our heads often come from the same beast that we (often unknowingly) worship.
As you craft what is true in response to the lies that you've been living in, try to boil it down to what is most crucial and sum it up briefly. The truth sets us free and so we must find ways to remember it and to apply it concretely.
My pastor back in Richmond would remind us almost weekly that the most important person to preach the gospel to each day was ourselves. We need to know how the gospel speaks into the lies that we're tempted to believe and ask for wisdom to apply it as "in the moment" as possible. This, too, is a process. It's like learning a new dance. Often the bad habits of thought and the lies have become so deeply grooved in our souls that the inertia is pretty tough to break. And if it were up to us alone, we might as well quit. But the Holy Spirit is in us, Christ is praying perfectly for us at all times, and the Father has called us his children. We have all the power of the universe at work for us and for our salvation--which is happening daily, to the praise of His marvelous grace.
One last thought: God has so ordained it that genuine transformation seldom takes place in isolation. Find a friend to share your list with, a community that can come alongside you and pray alongside you. If you don't have people in your life who you can trust or are willing to trust with matters of the soul, you might have bigger problems than just the voices in your head.
My regrets: meetings all of this week, not sure how much blogging I'll be able to do.
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