Davis, Barry Bonds, and a Heavy Dose of the Down Under's Largest Export

So it took all winter long before it happened, but my two-year-old son Davis finally contracted his first major cold of the season. His cough got so bad, in fact, that the doctor prescribed steroids.

The doctor failed to inform us that steroids would turn our child into Cujo-toddler. Think Barry Bonds is surly? Try a 2-year old Barry Bonds with sleep deprivation, a perpetual runny nose, and a penchant for throwing Matchbox cars.

The only thing that has pacified our little guy for the past four days has been videos. It has been a great source of (probably unhealthy) pride for us as parents that before Zoe was born he averaged probably no more than a half-hour of t.v. a week. Since Zoe has been born, it's probably increased to about 2 hours per week.

This week it's been about two hours of t.v. per every two hours. And his favorite video series is Australia's largest export: The Wiggles

The Wiggles consist of four marginally-talented middle-aged men whose primary abilities consist of a willingness to make overly-expressive faces and lip sync songs about most anything from "New York Firefighters" to "Horticulturalists" ("he's a horticulturalist; he's a regular botanist" is a slice of their captivating song writing).

Davis, of course, loves it. And he's not alone. The Wiggles tour globally and make millions upon millions of dollars off the two-year-old to six-year-old set and their pitiful families. One story I heard recently was of a man who took his kids from Rocky Mount, NC to Roanoke, VA (that's a 4 hour and 22 minute trip according to Mapquest), just to catch a show.

If you're interested in what's up in the preschool sub-culture, check out their web site. In the mean time, I gotta' go. Davis is threatening to take a baseball bat to the television if I don't get him some more Wiggly fun.